The Clouds had floated away leaving the atmosphere a washed with a fine shower and the moon hung once again lighting up the brick lined path. The rose bushes on left became faintly visible once more in monochrome shades of the night turning the leaves black as the flowers shone bright white by the cool dark neon light reflecting from the moon as it poised over head. The trees on the right cast black shadows of leaf like patterns on to the ground.
They stood still for a while soaking in the moving spots of shadows playing truant around them, over them . As they lifted themselves up from the wet earth, the shadows of the leaves moving in the soft breeze leaped like impatient fingers trying to grasp their bodies. They stood there very still , neither touching the other, even as the shadows tried to urge them closer, now eagerly, now impatient, trying to merge them in their camouflage so as they appeared to be one.
Her face shone in the pale bright moonlight. Her eyes shone brighter against the rimmed outline of her thick dark lashes as they lifted up in a sweep to look at his face. His face glowed too, reflecting the luminosity of her visage so close. She could see very fine rain droplets glittering like stars against the rim of his hairline and wanted them to shower on her, soak her, plump her rising bosom further as it rose and fell Even from where she stood she could see his pupils dilate and darken yet she was not sure if it was from the darkness of night or desire it evoked between them.
"I am so happy" his whisper reached her along with the murmur of breeze caressing her ear lobes to shivers of excitement and suddenly she was afraid that he might notice her tremble. She almost winced like a child caught stealing as his face broke into a sudden smile and caught a ray of moonlight that reflected from his teeth and fell like a flashlight upon her face. In one singular motion she turned away to leave as he reached out to pull her back to him and as his mouth sought hers she felt hers limbs weaken while she melted and turned to steam existing only as condensed dew where he touched her, drank her...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
First Kiss
Posted by Mona at 6:45 AM
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13 comments :
Mona, you write with the edge of a knife. To read you is to bleed. You are as evocative as the night of which you write, of the hands that are held, of the lips that long to nestle upon each other.
Well, Mona, those moments don't come along to often..I say seize the night!
And nicely done!
If you haven't already Mona, you need write a romance novel or screen play.
Tree, Lou,Walking Man
I am afraid I will have to disagree with you. I know that this post is like a cheap C grade Novella. :(
Mona, art is like a bird. Once you release it into the air, it is no longer yours. And it will fly where it wants. Some will love it for no good reason. Others will hate it for no good reason. Still, it has a life of its own, and will do at it pleases in the world. Much like children I suppose.
But I understand your disagreement. I dislike 90% of what I write and detest the other 10%. I've come to begrudgingly accept that a few others view what I do differently. To continue my child metaphor, those readers marry the work. And who am I to say who they should marry or not. If they are happy, then I am blessed. Or something like that. :-D
The first kiss! There have been a few, but only one or two that really counted!
I loved parts and found other parts unnecessarily wordy.
Mona...I will have to disagree with your assessment. Is it great literature in the making? Not form this short piece but there is a current of a fine story here. Really try your hand a say a 50k word piece.
Just to see what a longer work feels like, if you've never done one that long, the challenge of doing them alone are enough of a reason.
And Mona...also why would we say something that we didn't think eh? I mean that is pretty pointless and a waste of internet don't you think?
Most first kisses are a train wreck.. Beautiful sentiments and writing, though!
The true first kiss, alas there was only one of those, and it had to be shared. Of course there is a first kiss experienced by each, but still, some are experienced by only one of the pair.
Am I a cynic or what?
I LOVE cheap Novellas!!!!
Easy reading and to the point!
I think I get turned on too easily.
But I am turned on.
Tree, they say a perfectly satisfying work of creation ( to the artist) was never created.
Peter, :) its good to have been around! No regrets for later! :)
Dr John, that is what it is!
Mark, Thanks for the encouragement. I know I can count on your assessment!
Buf! hehehe, Train wreck! I love that! :D
Charles. You may be a cynic. But euphemistically still. Use strong terms like 'train wreck' as by Buf above you :D
Galen, I know you are an easy rider duran duran :D
Ivan, You do? Well good for you.
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