Snort, Honk, Blow...sneeze...gesundheit...sternutation
Sniff, sniff... all blocked....
" Hey you can't have that! That is my favourite curry , I want to eat that!"
" O You can habe it all bother. As it is, ebrythig dastes like... not eben saw dust....Blain rice or Gurry...it will be sabe for be!"
Friday, March 25, 2011
Snort, Honk, Blow...sneeze...gesundheit...sternutation
Posted by Mona at 12:23 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Nothing much has been happening, except the normal...
And I was watching people gulp in the news about the tusmani near Japan. Hardly anyone seemed moved. I realized that if you are not moved, nothing has moved. Not even if the Earth moves...
And therefore everything is normal all around I see. Things have been mostly cyclic in the manner they normally are; with slight variations of course, even if they be only in the underlying processes bearing similar consequences. Yet nevertheless they are the same normal days that have always been.
If I were a true artist, I may have written a Joycean seven hundred pages about a single day , devoting a whole chapter to the art of defecating. But I am not an artist I realize. I could be termed a critic or a reporter, or even a preacher for that matter. But artist I'm not.... Artists have to swim upstream and perish in the process. The seed has to perish in the earth before the sapling breaks out from the surface and begin to flower and bear fruit...
...see? I told you. I could preach as normally as I would answer the call of Nature.
So where was this going?...yes, 'Normal ' aspects of life and living.
There is one fact I (never) learn day after day after months after years. That from Indian perspective if you are soft spoken , stoop low, don't speak much , acquiesce easily let others (read elders) make decisions about what you are supposed to do and not do and blend with the wall , you are a Moral person. A slight deviation from those norms , and it won't be long before you become the pariah , the underdog ready to be guillotined at the crossroads .
Speaking of crossroads, the lady servant's husband has been creating a fair amount of ruckus in our servant quarter, shouting hoarse that he will drag his wife to the center of the 'choraha' ( crossroads) and utter the Triple Talaq ( verbal divorce) to her in the 'bharai mehifil' ( full viewership) of the passersby. The reason is simply because she should not have gone to visit her sister's house, when she had gone a-visiting her maternal home in order to get her twice married and divorced son married the third time to her brother's daughter. The marriage commenced successfully, but the fact that (mother) wife went to visit her sister's house without informing the( father) husband here does not sit well with him.
Prosecution: 'not having taken his permission' means that she might be looking for having an affair with the sister's husband. I would count the incident as 'Normal' since ( like I said in my last post regarding the 'Servant Marriage' ; it normally has to end in a furor.
...speaking of furore , there was this sudden commotion around the locality , that a 'jawan ladki' ( teenage girl) had tried to commit suicide by having consumed the termite killer ; the reason being that her mother always spoke to her using abusive language. So acrid and vitriolic was her 'normal' speech with the girl ( for example , if the girl expressed her desire to buy a pair of jeans ( read 'western' gear) she would say " why do you need jeans, you want to sit in a brothel ?" or if she saw her cross a male even as close as two feet by, she would say " Why just so close, why not under him?") that the girl saw no other way to 'save' herself from her Daayan Maa (demon mom) than by glug-glugging a whole bottle-full of the pesticide. After five days into the incident, she is still on the ventilator , whilst her grandmother sits at home and calls up periodically and asks " Is she dead yet or not?" The mother is sitting quite chewing on her tobacco and lime and I here I am wondering if this particular victual of her's has anything to do with her speech . After all ,they say that we are what we eat.
I would categorize that as normal , from the point of view of the 'enormity' of the process : while this girl was getting her stomach wash at the Emergency , five other similar cases were having their stomachs washed too.
And did I ever tell you how my right hand next door neighbor succeeded in beat- driving out the third wife out of his house only to get a fourth no sooner than the deed was done; whilst my across the road veterinary doctor neighbor successfully injected his wife to death with rabid dog killing poison for the sake of a heavy insurance policy ...
This normalcy is beginning to get boring now...
Posted by Mona at 1:21 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2011
On one of his rounds, God found a donkey weeping.
"What's the matter?" He asked
" Its Man. He treats us so badly; overburden us , and sometimes puts his whole self on our backs and make us trudge uphill".
"Thou shalt be avenged." Spake God.
Since then, every man carries an ass(w)hole on him.
Posted by Mona at 12:08 AM
Sunday, March 6, 2011
There are times when I feel so lazy, so lethargic and ennui ridden, that I even find myself wishing that someone would go and pee om my behalf.
There are times, when I am literally nodding with sleepiness, but can't really go to sleep.
There are times ( and this is almost ever since I remember) when I am inevitably irritated by the sound of train engine whistling at a distance , specially during the night hours. This sound is something I detest intensely, for reasons unknown.
There are times when sunning myself I look at the eagles floating in the sky , and I feel that one of them is looking at movement of my eyes, and is preying on them and readying to pluck them out.
There are times, when in the middle of the night I feel like getting up and doing something 'right now' but I can't spell what it is..
There are times , when I imagine being run over by a truck, or spilling boiling hot tea on my lap.
There are times, when I wish to leave my mom's front door open, so that some thieves might creep in and steal most of the goods that she has coveted through years, so that the multiple layers of clutter get cleared , without anyone ( family) having to do the tedious time consuming task. In fact , I want to usher in thieves, or hire them if need be, to do this favor!
There are times, when I want some things in my mom's house to be destroyed in a bonfire so that they become irretrievable for ever.
There are times when I want to make some people disappear forever, without having to murder them.
There are times when I want to go in a Rip Van Winkle mode.
There are times when I want Indian law to start community service as a punishment, and then arrest all Indians on some pretext , and then make them clean and mend up all the roads and streets of the country
There are times when I want all Indian women's vagina sewed up for a decade, so that they would stop shitting out more kids.
There are times...
Posted by Mona at 2:16 AM